Orphan child in the family Print
Written by Ayurvéda portál   

Many children live without a parent. Someone because they left him, and someone because his parents died. In best case orphan children will be given to educator parents , in wrong case to state care. The child’s spiritual state strongly depends on that, in which period of his life he got onto orphanage and this fact may seal his fate forever if his educators does not ensure him suitably.

The most vulnerable is the child who got onto orphanage in the babyhood. The main challenge of this age is the forming of the bodily-spiritual safety feeling, the strengtening of the confidence. With the loss of the mother providing the safety in this age, the child’s elemental openness to the world may get injured , that may get start  later on the protective mechanisms known in the animal world in the senses of the child. The child missing the safety and confidence may become shy, and for the result of it’s compensation rebellion, agression against unknown things may take shape.

That educator parent has to be a very developed man senses wise, who is able to resolve the fear like this in the child, since the temper of a mother is always deeper towards her own child, than for an educator parent. Beyond the baby’s bodily needs (eating, drinking, sleeping) the quality of the bodily touch is exceptionally important, that without reposes the baby, also creates an emotionl contact between the educator parent and the baby. To the correct touch, which is sufficient for the baby as well, the educator parent has to believe that she is really the mother of the child. The baby is a very intuitive being, if only a tiny doubt arises in the educator parent that he is not her child, than the baby feels it, mainly if she still remembers her mother’s previous touch. So for increasing the safety feeling of the baby – beyond the writings in the articles of the baby-mum contacts – there is a need for the full transfiguration of the educator parent and for the full identifying with the parentel role.  This needs the biggest responsibility taking from the educator parent, in which – similar to the mother – she is also able to bring even the largest victim for the child. That educator parent who similar to the sweet parent, is able to sacrifice even her life for her child, is going to have a big reward in God.
The scope of problem of the child who got onto orphanage in the childhood is the contact creation and the learning. The confidence and safety feeling of the child with 3-7 year ages may become uncertain if he loses his parent, but if these aspects took shape in him previously, than with a conscious adult behaviour and with honest communication these can be restored relatively easily. However in the tasks of the childhood the child who got into orphanage may sticks, that can mean, that he can be reseved from the community, or the congition of the new things may interest him less.
For the dissolution of the child’s fears the educator parent can do extremely many things and many things he should not do. He should not be promising to the child and chase him into false illusions. On the one hand the child feels it exactly when the educator parent lies him in such an important topic, on the other hand when the truth clears up for the child, than it will hurt him much better. The other thing that can be specifically harmful is if the child will be familiarized with the exact concept of the physical death in this underage, since the child is not able to define it and the fear from the death may take shape. It is also wrong, if a child with an infancy will be taken to the funeral. The vision of the burying with the dirt suggest him finality, the absolute end of something. In a believer family it is easy to communicate this, since they are telling that well the mother has gone, she loved you very much and she loves you now very much from on high. For a believer person it is easy to tell a story about the heaven. This communication is much more fine than the hard information that there is a passing, to which his mother fell prey. In the treatment of the contact creating and learning problem the educator parent can attend so if he sets similar aims in front of the child like the mother of the child, for which the child is able to enthuse again. There can be many differences between the educator parent’s and the former mother’s spiritual abilities , the educator parent needs to take care that this can’t be changed in the child within one day. It’s a good idea if at the beginning of their contact she asks from the child that how you use to do this with your mother and they will just gradually switch to the life which is according to the educator parent’s faith, founding the educational strategy for the child’s understanding. The very fast change may creates the child’s rebellion against the educator parent, which is a natural reaction, this has to be tolerated by the educator parent patiently.
It is a big challenge to be an educator parent since he has to identify himself temporarily with the previous parent and not only with the parental role. At the same time that educator parent who understand how fragile is the senses state of an orphan child and is able to adapt himself to this and is able to switch gradually to his own spirituality, that educator parent deserves all respect.
An important scope of problem of the orphanage is that when and how we tell to the child, who were his parents (if the child does not know about it). The adolescence is the most inappropriate time for this since the child lives his rebel time, is sensitive for the truth and may feels that his educator parents lied to him in his whole life. Let us never select this period! The period after founding a family is also not the most suitable one because a man may get into that doubt, that although he got to be an adult, but he still does not know who he really is. The infant age is also not suitable because the child’s self-awareness did not grow yet sufficiently and is not able to understand the evolved situation (but if he lost his parents in this period, than it is recommended to tell it to him). So two opportunities left, the childhood (7-10 years) and the young adulthood (20-25 years, but before the family formation). Onto the child’s question, that “why only now”, this section can be translated bravely to the children language.
In the absence of his own parents the child may feel himself rootless, which is the darkest senses state for a person. Every men needs the root like the leaf needs the branch, because the man is attached to his ancestors through his own parents, and through his ancestors to the first couple (like to the root of the tree), and through the first couple to God, from where the man originates. The task of the educator parent is to realize this contact level in the child, so there is no educator parent who would try to conceal his ancestry from the child.
The above thoughts can’t be carried out in the state tender institutes, since many tended children gets into few educators. However also here the educators has to do everything they can to be able to find the best possible solution for the above problems. Many couples ingests more and more children in the hope of a big state support, but their conscience fails in the nursing. If the educator considers the educator work just as a money earning, is worthy for his reward, which has been prepared for the evils. But that educator, whom the mercy has started to work as an educator, to help on orphan, prostrate childen and is doing everything he can that the child can live a life with full value, that is kind for God, and his good actions fades many wrong actions, so himself will also partake in mercy.
If you, who you read this article, you are orphan, do not worry about your fate, because if you understood my message, than you should know that God is your mother and your father in one person. You have safety through him, you have confidence through him, also he gives you faith and he is the one who aligns your fate. He gave life also to you, you were born through his law, he took your parents because your parents selected the law of the death. However you have to know that the death is not the end, not even the beginning, as false masters teach it, it is just a senses change, from which a mortal man does not have any knowledge. Do not mourn such a loss, that the loss himself is also an illusion, since your parents have never been yours, but they (have been) are your part. Your part can never get lost because that leaves in you eternally. Your mother and your father is not only a memory in you, but you yourself are the unity of them, who they were. As a result if their affection they two become one body and one soul, and this one body and one soul is you yourself. So do not mourn the loss, but recognise it that you were they, and live dependably to them.

Let’s also look at the above ones with a vedic eye in order for you to understand it. The szattva burns the most in the man, if he does not act for himself, since this time not the dark shackles of the attraction and repulsion clink on his foot. Also from the szattva acts the brightest one is if a man is able to resolve the other exposed man’s doubt, fear. So that man, who ingests and raises with integrity even just one from among the smallest ones, may become the biggest in the country of God, because the szattva gleams so in him, like the brightness of the rising sun gleams in the dark night. The orphan child may reciprocate the educator’s honest devotion with a grateful heart, with blessing the name of the educator parent and with that if for his service the orphan child also considers his educator as a parent in return, even if he is aware of that he is not the sweet child of the educator and takes care of his old educator parents with such a devotion, as devoted the educator parents took care of the child. In the child like this gleams the strength of the szattva as well, since the gratitude, the victim bringing for other people are the aspects of the brightness, and the child, although he didn’t had a mother and a father who would have teach him onto God faith, even so may be worthy for God’s country. There are many conflicts in all contacts, in most of the families as well, where people raise their own sweet child. The conflicts are in order to solve them and learn from them, how you may become happy. The mark of the victim that you have done for the orphan child, won’t sink without trace.