The family Print
Written by Ayurvéda portál   

Most of the people live in a fear, even if they do not admit it to themselves or to the external world. I was writing about this more detailed in the article:“Thoughts about the confidence”. The fear and his desires motivates the man to live in a community, where he can get safety, or rather affirmations that his life makes sense. The family is the first community like this which the man faces in his life.

Let’s start it from the stove. For the modern man the family is not only a reproductive instinct since it is possible to contrive it without a community but a social sample. The more thousand year old human samples cannot be just cancelled so simply, but it leaves there in every person as an instinct. Two people, when they desire for each other and connect their life, surrenders himself to this instinct and founds symbiosis, then when a child will born, then a family. I would like to notice to avoid the misunderstandings that the marriage if there is a birth of child on it, is not a family in itself. From what will be a symbiosis a family? We look for the answer on this.

We call a community as a family if the members living in it associates with each other that they sacrifice their life to a common aim, in which the members help each other in every difficulty mutually. Of course the traces of this are discoverable in the beginning of the partnership since all men founds symbiosis in the hope of the happiness. Of course much less people knows that the initial happiness can be fleeting, when the man recognises the other person’s drawback, than the person who does not live consciously may become uncertain. The essence of the family consists that at this time we solve our conflicts keeping the common aims before the eye, we learn and with the secured skills we resolve those blocks which detains us in the realisation of our aims. Like this two people patronizing, helping each other gets ahead on the degree of the senses development. People like this have even two kind of ethical talents. One of them is that if I managed to get more forward in any kind of development than the other person, than I share this with him, hereby I raise him up to myself. The other one is that if I realise that the other person can reach the next aim more easily, than I support him with all my power and I trust him that he helps me to rise if he reaches the next scale. One of the talent is the grace, the other one the talents of service’s practice.
This assumes a huge sincerity in the family, not only on a manner interpreted on the everyday level but it means the honest manifestation of the unique wants, the honest communication (e.g. let me be able to admit if something is not working). The sincerity creates always a new decision situation. If I am not able to do something, than my partner stilll may be able to do that. If none of us is able for that than reaching our aims we ask an external help together .The approach like this helps the exemption of the conflicts in the family.
As long as also a child is born in a partnership, of course the above ones have to be defined with the expanded membership.  Also the child has to fit into this philosophy. At the same time more task waits for the parents since they need to solve the problems of their child’s bodily-spiritual development. I will talk about this in an other article more detailed.
A family works perfectly if in the senses of all members the most important thing is not the other family member, not an exterior person and even not material benefits , but God himself:the truth, the love, the peace and the morals. The members of a family like this are always able to bring victim from their own unique efforts in order to remain the family’s peace, the each other’s love, while they also follow the roads of the truth. Only at this time a broken frame can’t be a reason to have hate in the family and to break the peace . The reason of the unrest can’t be the worse ticket brought home by the child and many other events.
A family is happy if his members are happy one by one. In the interest of this the family has to satisfy the emotional needs of the single person beyond the necessities. If a family member fears, than the members have to help uniformly defeating his fears. The conscious family member does not see an enemy in the other family member if for example he suffers from an addiction illness, but fear, which has to be resolved. If it’s not working for me than according to the above reference asked jointly with an exterior help. The fears can be multiple, from this you can read in the article adduced in the beginning of this writing.  In case of the family’s correct function the fears in the members of the community can be dissolved and creates the opportunity of the full life.
Let’s speak some words about the family with an ayurvedical eye. Accordig to the baby-mum contacts wrote down the relation of the family members to each other defines the ayurvedical body type of the persons. I would like to write an independent more detailed article about this but I mention in advance, that the conflicts residing in the body type (father-mother, father-child, mother-child) are initial talents, with which the family has to count with. Any of the person will be a Vata type, he will be hyperactive, perpetual moving, can’t really concentrate on the tasks. The Pitta type people are rebellious, they transform constantly, they are in a tantrum if someone confronts them and they can present wide scale of emotional explosions. The Kapha type people are slow, lazier but calmer. The Vata bears hard the laziness of the Kapha, the Pitta bears hard the extravagance and unreliability of the Vata. The Kapha bears hard the hysterical attacks of the Pitta. The essence is that these talents has to be handled consciously in a family and the above balance has to be created capitalized the positive attributes of the individual people (e.g. the vata likes to work, the pitta is creative, the kapha is practical). So all of the family members can be satisfied.

So the community will be a family because of the common aim (the intention for the happiness, the liberation), the single victims brought for it, each other’s helping reaching the aim. Any of the components are missing, we may talke about a symbiosis instead of the family. Onto building the family not the unnecessary and boring iteration of the expectations I would recommend, but the most optimal utilization of the members’ talents, which goal is reaching the set aim and not serving the individual expectations, aims of that family member who is having power. In this case the family recognises his most important role in the life which aim is not the gratification of the person’s desires but that the person with getting of his ego learns and understands the living in unity, through what he may recognise the huge truth of the different teachings, that everything is One. According to the Bible it sounds that “ There is one God and noone else is outside of him”.  I am also not outside of him, but I am the part of a whole one. If I live in unity with myself and the world, than I am happy and healthy. The first stair to this is the family…