Help Print
Written by Ayurvéda portál   


When man gets stuck in his endeavour he asks for help to be able to move on. Asking for help, and also the nature of help, could be diverse. There can be people who only need an information, there can be people who need the force of other person, and there can be people who miss a living being (ex: guide-dog), an object or money from their life in order to make it more carefree.


In a world with distorted morals man considers help request as a shame. The person who asks feels vulnerable, and the person from whom other people ask would consider himself higher. This is the reason why most people are not able to handle correctly neither the assistance nor the help request. Expectations and fears are getting generated from these, and this is the reason why need becomes distrust or in extreme cases anger.

Everybody needs help, who lives in separation. This help request occurs in different formats based on the influence of man. If man asks from a person who is at the same level or on a “higher” level, this man is able to ask humbly. When man asks from a person he considers “less”, in this case man usually understates the help request, or if his influence ability is higher, he would resolve it based on his power or with blackmail. When a leader gives an instruction to his employee, he asks, because the execution of the instruction is his interest. Let’s see what is the correct mentality for a person living spiritual life in case of a help requester or a help provider.
If a help requester found out that he is not able to move forward without duality on his own, he should ask for help right away, because till his need exists he stays under the rule of darkness. This always brings suffering and illness to man, and hurries the death. Man's real weakness is not hidden in the fact that he requires help, but it is hidden in the fact that he is not able to ask for support. A help requester should consider below things:
¨ He should draw the object of the help (what he really asks for) punctually and purely in order to avoid misunderstandings.
¨ A help request is absolutely a recipient character, so the requester should be in this consciousness state at the time of the request. Neither the instruction, neither the blackmail, nor other trick is a kind of recipient character.
¨ The request should be always true. This means, that the requester should be able to show his present, stalled state without any fear, and not to hide it, because the mercy of God will arrive to this unhidden truth for sure, but in other cases it depends on the favor of the man who gives supports to help or not.
¨ It follows from this that the requester should not restrict the helper, because giving help is not correct if it causes duality (for example: “but do not tell to my wife”), and the secret is an  unnecessary burden on the helper.
¨ The requester should try to make the helper's activity true. The assistance should not be useless, the help asked should really serve the aim for which it was asked for (for example, if somebody asks money for medicine, but he drinks it away, he brought the demon of the futility into the relationship, and the helper may feel rightfully that he rather does not help).
¨ The requester should be always grateful. This shows his humility towards life ( he does not perceive the help as an expectation, but as a mercy), and on the other hand with his thankfulness he strengthens the force of the mercy of the supporter, and the feeling that helping is uplifting.
¨ If the request contains a promise (for example in case of a loan: the repayment deadline), it should be defined by the requester with responsibility (in an illusion-free state of his opportunities and abilities) and let him try to accomplish his promise fully.
The helper, who realised that his fellowman needs help, and if he can and wants to help, should not defer, because he should know what is the nature of the duality. Either he helps or not, he should decide it soon and inform the requester. The helper should consider below criterias:
¨ He should try to understand the aim of the assistance and it’s object because he can only give responsible help of his heart if he is able to identify with them. In case of a behaviour like “I do not want to know about it” the changes slipping in could cause duality.
¨  The helper - if he decided to help-, should create a consciousness state of mercy. This means that he should help from solidarity and not from interest or for humiliation of the other person.
¨  The help should be always true, not to be controlled by ulterior motive, and should not create false illusion in the requester (if he promises something, and not, or not on the agreed way he accomplishes the promise).
¨ The helper should never set barriers and conditions in the solution. Because with it he can revoke the opportunity from himself to practice mercy, and on the other hand he may not know what kind of additional duality it causes in the other person. That help is not help where the duality will not decrease just it’s nature changes.
¨ The helper should never expect any kind of compensation for his help (neither gratitude, nor material gift, and no contra-help either). The man, who insists on the result of his act, can be often disappointed. At the same time God's nature is like that, if I help to one people I could receive it back from another.
¨ If the request contained a promise, which is not kept by the requester, the helper has the opportunity the warn him to his responsibility. If he experiences that the requester is not able to keep his promise, it is better for him to give it also up, inasmuch to stay in duality. So it is better to give up lent things and money, than being kept by sthe devil.
There are some things which everybody should know, especially those who live with fear from unacceptance and fear from pain:
¨ Neither the complaint, nor the unspoken expectations belong to the help-request category. Nobody may expect the other person to find out that he needs help and offers his support voluntary.
¨ If somebody does not help it does not automatically means that he does not love you. It may have a thousand of other reasons that somebody does not deliver this mercy (for example, if the help would force him into duality, or if he would not be able to keep his promise towards an other person, and many other reasons.)
¨ The help does not mean that the helper solves the problem instead of the requester, so the responsibility will always remain on the person who asked for help.
¨ Who does not use the received help for the treatment of his needs, commits a sin against himself and against the helper.
¨ The largest help is if you take away the other person’s doubt. For example, if somebody has a financial problem and you tell him about God's caring love, it would worth more than a loan. But there are also people who reject this. You can not help with your money on that person who thinks incorrectly and rejects the spiritual help. In this case it is better to donate him warm clothes, firewood, or food as help.
¨ The more luxury need the requester has, the larger mercy required on the helper side. Not to save a life is a sin, the same way as not to share your food with a starving peoplet, if you are in a position to help. At the same time if somebody asks you to help to hoe his grape, from which his daily wine yields, and you do not help, you should not feel fear because of it.
¨ It is a dishonest and selfish behaviour to mention you help later (and create a debtor feeling in the other person) in order to get him to help you back against his will. Especially in those cases where the help request is disproportionate with the previous provided help.
¨Who received help should not have a debtor-feeling, he owes only to God. If the previous helper asks for his help, he should decide independently from the previous support.
Continuous and correct communication helps the requester and the provider to reach the most majestic aim with this help. The requester would remain true in God in his need, and the helper could discover the mercy of God. The help is a kind of discharge of the voltage (duality), in which the true requester and the helper who practice mercy would serve the unity and entirety. Serving the unity is the same as serving the truth, so a honest requester and a true helper would rise spiritually high together.