Kain and Abel effect Print
Written by Ayurvéda portál   

 Káin és Ábel effektusIn human relationships we often use phrases for love based on basic mistakes. “You do not love me because you do not help me…” – could say a person with low faith easily. Two men quarrel on a woman, and one of them calls out: - “She will select me because she loves me more than you.“

Siblings quarrel with each other when one says to the other: - "Our father always loved you more than me.” A women says in a family many times that: “You do not love me because you do not care for me so much.”
These above statements are from the ego, and could be summarized as: “If I do not receive what I want, they do not love me for sure, so I have the right to get sored.“ I call this effect as:  Kain and Abel effect. According to the Bible Kain killed Abel because God accepted sacrifice of Abel but did not accept Kain’s, because Kain sacrificed without true heart.
People living in the capture of passion could hardly abstract from the fact that their relationships are based on attraction or repulsion. So they do not understand that love is not equal with pure attraction, but it equals with fulfilling our duty according to morals. If you do not see love as an affection, but you see it as a guiding principle which does not hurt other people, this way the Kain and Abel effect would be resolved.
The fact that God did not accept Kain’s offer does not mean that God does not love Kain, because he did not hurt him. Kain’s own defeatism guided himself to the sin. If you knew how many million people are currently in the same destiny as Kain. They are praying hypocritically, they do not regret their sins from heart, and they only believe in God with their mouth. If God does not support them, but allows them to live through the result of their sins, it does not mean that he does not love them, but it means that God’s mercy is great, because he allows man to learn at this time.
The examples mentioned in the beginning of this article are like this. If the sexual affection decreases, if there is a need to have other relationships than the marital one, if sometimes it happens that man does not help to his partner, brother, neighbour, this does not mean that he does not love them. It only means that the affection decreased. People ask from me: “but what holds marriage together?” The answer is obvious: moral and love. Due to these two aspects I do not amend our common goal, I won’t be disloyal, because I decided so, and I do not want to hurt you and myself with converting our previous common decision into a lie.
If you do not help me it can have more reasons, and not just that one that you do not love me. If I do not help you it can have more reasons and not just that one that I do not love you. Reason can be that we committed ourselves previously to somewhere else, or we are just busy, or many other thing. We only do not love each other if we lie to each other regarding the reason. If our father supported me or you better, it does not mean that he liked one of us more, but it means that he insisted on one of us more, or just supported one of our endeavor better because he just liked it. If a women needs to decide between two men, or opposite, it does not mean that she does not love one of them…   her decision will be based on the fact to whom she is attracted more.
Understand the Kain and Abel effect. If a single element of life does not attract to you, or does not reward you, it does not mean that it does not loves you, so you need to make sure you will not commit sin as Kain did because of his defeatism. Not the attraction makes man gentle, but moral, so if you can stay in moral you do not need to feel ashamed in life. Recognise that the ego always wants to receive, so it is able to violate any kind of moral law because of this. But who lives according to moral is able to rise above the power of the attraction. If you beat your defeatism, and you do not follow the example of Kain, but you  look for what was missing in Kain: the immovable faith.